| Strongly Disagree - 1 | Disagree - 2 | Neutral - 3 | Agree - 4 | StronglyAgree - 5 |
| Avoiders | Add scores for items 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, & 16 = ________ |
| Battlers | Add scores for items 2, 5, 8, 11, 14, & 17 = ________ |
| Collaborators | Add scores for items 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, & 18 = ________ |
Table \(\PageIndex{1}\): Avoidant Conflict Management Strategies
| Simple Denial | Statements that deny the conflict. | “No, I’m perfectly fine.” |
| Extended Denial | Statements that deny conflict with a short justification. | “No, I’m perfectly fine. I just had a long night.” |
| Underresponsiveness | Statements that deny the conflict and then pose a question to the conflict partner. | “I don’t know why you are upset, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?” |
| Topic Shifting | Statements that shift the interaction away from the conflict. | “Sorry to hear that. Did you hear about the mall opening?” |
| Topic Avoidance | Statements designed to clearly stop the conflict. | “I don’t want to deal with this right now.” |
| Abstractness | Statements designed to shift a conflict from concrete factors to more abstract ones | “Yes, I know I’m late. But what is time really except a construction of humans to force conformity.” |
| Semantic Focus | Statements focused on the denotative and connotative definitions of words. | “So, what do you mean by the word ‘sex’?” |
| Process Focus | Statements focused on the “appropriate” procedures for handling conflict. | “I refuse to talk to you when you are angry.” |
| Joking | Humorous statements designed to derail conflict. | “That’s about as useless as a football bat.” |
| Ambivalence | Statements designed to indicate a lack of caring. | “Whatever!” “Just do what you want.” |
| Pessimism | Statements that devalue the purpose of conflict. | “What’s the point of fighting over this? Neither of us are changing our minds.” |
| Evasion | Statements designed to shift the focus of the conflict. | “I hear the Joneses down the street have that problem, not us.” |
| Stalling | Statements designed to shift the conflict to another time. | “I don’t have time to talk about this right now.” |
| Irrelevant Remark | Statements that have nothing to do with the conflict. | “I never knew the wallpaper in here had flowers on it.” |
Table \(\PageIndex{2}\): Distributive Conflict Management Strategies
| Faulting | Statements that verbally criticize a partner. | “Wow, I can’t believe you are so dense at times.” |
| Rejection | Statements that express antagonistic disagreement. | “That is such a dumb idea.” |
| Hostile Questioning | Questions designed to fault a partner. | “Who died and made you king?” |
| Hostile Joking | Humorous statements designed to attack a partner. | “I do believe a village has lost its idiot.” |
| Presumptive Attribution | Statements designed to point the meaning or origin of the conflict to another source. | “You just think that because your father keeps telling you that.” |
| Avoiding Responsibility | Statements that deny fault. | “Not my fault, not my problem.” |
| Prescription | Statements that describe a specific change to another’s behavior. | “You know, if you’d just stop yelling, maybe people would take you seriously.” |
| Threat | Statements designed to inform a partner of a future punishment. | “You either tell your mother we’re not coming, or I’m getting a divorce attorney.” |
| Blame | Statements that lay culpability for a problem on a partner. | “It’s your fault we got ourselves in this mess in the first place.” |
| Shouting | Statements delivered in a manner with an increased volume. | “DAMMIT! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!” |
| Sarcasm | Statements involving the use of irony to convey contempt, mock, insult, or wound another person. | “The trouble with you is that you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech.” |
Table \(\PageIndex{3}\): Integrative Conflict Management Strategies
| Descriptive Acts | Statements that describe obvious events or factors. | “Last time your sister babysat our kids, she yelled at them.” |
| Qualification | Statements that explicitly explain the conflict. | “I am upset because you didn’t come home last night.” |
| Disclosure | Statements that disclose one’s thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental way. | “I get really worried when you don’t call and let me know where you are.” |
| Soliciting Disclosure | Questions that ask another person to disclose their thoughts and feelings. | “How do you feel about what I just said?” |
| Negative Inquiry | Statements allowing for the other person to identify your negative behaviors. | “What is it that I do that makes you yell at me?” |
| Empathy | Statements that indicate you understand and relate to the other person’s emotions and experiences. | “I know this isn’t easy for you.” |
| Emphasize Commonalities | Statements that highlight shared goals, aims, and values. | “We both want what’s best for our son.” |
| Accepting Responsibility | Statements acknowledging the part you play within a conflict. | “You’re right. I sometimes let my anger get the best of me.” |
| Initiating Problem-Solving | Statements designed to help the conflict come to a mutually agreed upon solution. | “So let’s brainstorm some ways that will help us solve this.” |
| Concession | Statements designed to give in or yield to a partner’s goals, aims, or values. | “I promise, I will make sure my homework is complete before I watch television.” |
Which conflict style is generally seen as a win lose approach?
1-Competing: This is a “win-lose” approach. You act in a very assertive way. It might be at the cost of others as well. This approach works in emergencies when you should make quick decisions and others know about the approach.
Which conflict management style is sometimes referred to as a lose lose approach?
Compromising
This style is sometimes known as lose-lose, in that both parties will have to give up a few things in order to agree on the larger issue. This is used when there is a time crunch, or when a solution simply needs to happen, rather than be perfect.
What is a competitive conflict style?
The Competing Style is when you stress your position without considering opposing points of view. This style is highly assertive with minimal cooperativeness; the goal is to win.
Which conflict style creates a win/win situation?
Collaborating style. As opposed to the compromising style's “lose-lose” solutions, the collaborating style seeks to produce “win-win” results. The collaborating style tries to find a solution that truly satisfies everyone involved.