When a child is upset, the easiest and quickest way to calm them down is to give them food

Check physical needs first:

• Is the baby hungry or thirsty?
• Does he/she need to be burped?
• Is it too hot or cold?
• Is their diaper dirty?

Once you've made sure they are comfortable for all of the above, check for signs of illness or fever. If you think the baby may be sick, seek medical attention immediately. If you do not have a primary care provider or they are unavailable, call our ParentSmart Healthline to speak with pediatric registered nurses 24/7. They are available at 720-777-0123.

The Fussy Baby team is also available to talk by phone via our "Warmline" to listen and provide support and resources. Call the Fussy Baby Network at 1-877-627-9227 (877-6-CRYCARE).

If your baby is healthy

If your baby isn't experiencing any physical needs, try one of these tips to calm your crying baby:

1. Rock the baby, hold the baby close or walk with the baby. 
2. Stand up, hold the baby close and repeatedly bend your knees. 
3. Sing or talk to the baby in a soothing voice. 
4. Gently rub or stroke the baby's back, chest or tummy. 
5. Offer a pacifier or try to distract the baby with a rattle or toy. 
6. Swaddle the baby with a soft blanket. 
7. Take the baby for a ride in a stroller or in a car seat in the car. 
8. Turn on some music or noise, such as a vacuum cleaner or clothes dryer.

Try each of the above for a few minutes before trying something else, or try a few together.

If nothing works, it is okay to leave the baby in a safe place like a crib or infant seat and take time to calm yourself down. Leave the room. Shut the door. Take a few deep breaths. Call a friend or family member.

Crying can be frustrating

Caring for a baby is hard work and that little baby may cry more than you ever expected. You should always respond when your baby cries. But sometimes, no matter what you try, you might not be able to stop the crying. If you're feeling overwhelmed and your baby won't stop crying, remember:

• All babies cry — it's how they communicate, and your baby may cry a lot.
• Babies start to cry more frequently around 2 weeks of age.
• Crying increases and peaks in the second month of life, but can increase until your baby is 4-5 months old.
• Babies often cry more in the evenings.
• Crying can last 30-40 minutes and even longer. Infants may spend up to 4-5 hours a day crying, even for healthy, normal babies.
• Babies often cry intensely when they are not in pain, even though they may look like they are in pain.
• Sometimes your baby may need to cry to relieve stress, and it's okay to let him or her cry.
• Crying may come and go, and you won't know why.
• Crying may not stop for an extended period of time, no matter what you try.
• The crying will eventually stop.

It is normal for a baby to cry and it is normal to feel frustrated when he or she won't stop. Sometimes, in that moment, you might feel like you are going to lose control. In that moment, do not shake the baby. As a parent or caregiver, you are human. You have limited energy, patience and tolerance. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, helpless and even angered by the constant demands of a baby. No matter how bad it gets or how tired and frustrated you feel, shaking the baby, putting the baby down roughly or throwing the baby is never the answer. Instead, calm yourself and calm your baby.

The crying will eventually end.

Why babies cry so much

Crying is how babies communicate. While it can be challenging to distinguish between the types of cries of a newborn baby, as babies get older, parents can sometimes differentiate an "I'm hungry" cry from an "I'm tired" cry.

Babies cry because they are:

• Hungry
• Uncomfortable
• Frustrated
• Tired
• Lonely

Sometimes, cries can easily be satisfied with food or a diaper change. Always respond to your baby's cries. You cannot "spoil" babies by picking them up when they cry. Being held is reassuring and comforting when a baby cannot express herself any other way.

Although babies cry to communicate, this crying can continue for a long time for no apparent reason. Crying can be a mystery and it can stop as quickly as it began. Your baby is not mad at you, nor is your baby trying to make you look like a bad parent.

Ages & Stages

​Here are ways you can try to comfort a crying baby. It may take a few tries, but with patience and practice you'll find out what works and what doesn't for your baby.

• Swaddle your baby in a large, thin blanket (ask your nurse or child's doctor to show you how to do it correctly) to help them feel secure.

• Hold your baby in your arms and place her body on their left side to help digestion or stomach for support. Gently rub their back. If your baby goes to sleep, remember to always lay her down in her crib on her back.

• Turn on a calming sound. Sounds that remind babies of being inside the womb may be calming, such as a white noise device, the humming sound of a fan, or the recording of a heartbeat.

• Walk your baby in a body carrier or rock them. Calming motions remind babies of movements they felt in the womb.

• Avoid overfeeding your baby because this may also make them uncomfortable. Try to wait at least 2 to 2½ hours from the beginning of one feeding to the next.

• If it is not yet time to feed your baby, offer the pacifier or help your baby find their thumb or finger. Many babies are calmed by sucking.

• If food sensitivity is the cause of discomfort, a change in diet may help.
  

• For breastfed babies: Moms may try changing their own diet. See if your baby gets less fussy if you cut down on milk ­products or caffeine. If there is no ­difference after making the dietary changes, resume your usual diet. Avoiding spicy or gassy foods like onions or ­cabbage has worked for some moms, but this has not been ­scientifically proven.

• For bottle-fed babies: Ask your child's ­doctor if you should try a different for­mula. This has been shown to be helpful for some babies.

• Keep a diary of when your baby is awake, asleep, eating, and crying. Write down how long it takes your baby to eat or if your baby cries the most after eating. Talk with your child's doctor about these behaviors to see if their crying is related to sleeping or eating.

• Limit each daytime nap to no longer than 3 hours a day. Keep your baby calm and quiet when you feed or change themr during the night by avoiding bright lights and noises, such as the TV.

Checklist for what your baby may need:

Here are some other ­reasons why your baby may cry and tips on what you can try to meet that need. If your baby is…

• Hungry. Keep track of feeding times and look for early signs of hunger, such as lip-smacking or ­moving fists to his mouth.

• Cold or hot. Dress your baby in about the same ­layers of clothing that you are wearing to be comfortable.

• Wet or soiled. Check the diaper. In the first few months, babies wet and soil their diapers a lot.

• Spitting up or vomiting a lot. Some babies have symptoms from gastroesophageal reflux (GER), and the fussiness can be confused with colic. Contact your child's doctor if your baby is fussy after feeding, has excessive spitting or vomiting, and is losing or not gaining weight.

• Sick (has a fever or other illness). Check your baby's temperature. If your baby is younger than 2 months and has a fever, call your child's ­doctor right away. See Fever and Your Baby for more information.

• Overstimulated. Try ways to calm your baby mentioned above.

• Bored. Quietly sing or hum a song to your baby. Go for a walk.

Why parents & caregivers need breaks from crying babies:

If you have tried to calm your crying baby but nothing seems to work, you may need to take a moment for yourself. Crying can be tough to handle, especially if you're physically tired and mentally exhausted.

• Take a deep breath and count to 10.

• Place your baby in a safe place, such as crib or playpen without blankets and stuffed animals; leave the room; and let your baby cry alone for about 10 to 15 minutes.

• While your baby is in a safe place, consider some actions that may help calm you down.

• Listen to music for a few minutes.

• Call a friend or family member for ­emotional support.

• Do simple household chores, such as vacuuming or washing the dishes.

• If you have not calmed after 10 to 15 minutes, check on your baby but do not pick up your baby until you feel you have calmed down.

• When you have calmed down, go back and pick up your baby. If your baby is still crying, retry soothing measures.

• Call your child's doctor. There may be a medical reason why your baby is crying.

• Try to be patient. Keeping your baby safe is the most important thing you can do. It is normal to feel upset, frustrated, or even angry, but it is important to keep your behavior under control. Remember, it is never safe to shake, throw, hit, slam, or jerk any child—and it never solves the problem!

More information:

• Responding to Your Baby's Cries
• Colic Relief Tips for Parents
• A Parent's Guide To Safe Sleep
• Remedies for Spitty Babies
• Abusive Head Trauma: How to Protect Your Baby

The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

What to give a child to calm them down?

How can I help my child who is upset easily?