Monster's career expert Vicki Salemi gives it to you straight: "A little work-related awkwardness is bound to happen from time to time," she says. But when your professional reputation—and let's be honest, your livelihood—depends on your work performance, awkward moments can seemingly come with more consequences than a moment of embarrassment.
"You just need to learn how to handle [awkward situations] and move forward," says Salemi. "Don’t dwell in the awkwardness. Rather, acknowledge it for what it is, handle it in the best way possible, shrug it off, and move on." Here's how to do just that—for just about every awkward work situation you can imagine.
1. You receive praise from your boss—for work you didn't actually
do.
You dropped the ball on a big project and your partner picked up the slack on the DL. So when your boss comes by your cubicle to praise your stellar performance, you've got a choice: Fess up that you fell down on the job, or take the credit and run.
We all know it's wrong to take credit for someone else's work—and that you need to redirect the credit to the colleague who deserves it. Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and the owner of the Protocol School of Texas, suggests saying something like, "Thank you for the compliment, George, but the event was planned and executed by Sylvia. I agree with you—she did an incredible job. And although I’d love to take the credit, the kudos belong to her."
Though taking the high road may not feel good in the moment, it works in your favor in the long run. "You look like a leader because you showed you are confident enough to give someone else a justifiable compliment without feeling threatened or insecure," Gottsman explains.
2. You watch someone else receive credit for work you did.
You spent
hours working on a slideshow only for your colleague to take the reins in a meeting and deliver a praise-worthy presentation. The worst part? When your boss pats your partner on the back, she happily accepts the honor, and seems to forget your name entirely.
"Now this is definitely what you call awkward," commiserates Salemi, who adds it's important you speak up for yourself when your colleagues don't. "Say something like, 'When I worked on this, it was really a team effort,'" she suggests. "Or if you’re not comfortable with saying something in public, find a more private way to talk to them after and make sure it’s clear to your manager that you helped out. However you handle the situation, just make sure you do so lightheartedly. What matters is that you feel like you have ownership over what you’ve accomplished."
3. You're stuck in the elevator alone with your boss—whom you hate—and have to make small talk.
On a last-minute scramble to get to
work on time, you stick your heel into a closing elevator—only to discover when the door retracts, your boss is inside. There's no backing down now: You've got to ride to the 27th floor with someone you seriously can't stand. And you know she'll want to make small talk.
"Not many people find closed, confined spaces that inviting," commiserates Jill Jacinto, millennial career expert and associate communications director for WORKS. "Add in a boss you can't stand, and you are bound to take a very tense ride."
First things first, Jacinto says: Do not look at your phone. "Don't ignore your boss," she advises. Instead, "initiate conversation—talk about the weather, your weekend plans, the company's new client," says Jacinto. "All these are all safe places to start and will get you through 30 seconds of agony."
Gottsman adds that it's not necessary to be a Chatty Cathy the whole ride. In fact, she says, doing so will just make you look nervous and insecure. And, "don’t forget to say, 'have a good day,' when you exit if you are the only one left on the elevator besides your boss," she adds. "It’s always best to be polite."
4.
You overhear a private—and not very complimentary—conversation about you at work.
It's time for a much needed coffee break, but as you round the bend to the office kitchenette, you hear your name and pause for the scoop. But as you listen in from around the corner, the more you wish you hadn't started eavesdropping: Your colleagues have nothing good to say about you.
Rather than get angry and interrupt their conversation, head in the opposite direction for a short phone call with your best friend, Jacinto recommends. "Vent your frustration to her," she says, "then play devil's advocate. Ask yourself: Is there any truth to their comments? Were you a b—ch on your last work trip? Did you get tipsy at the office party? Did you forget a few points in your sales pitch? It is extremely hard to take the high road here but if there is any truth to what they said, you can choose to see it as a blessing to course-correct."
If you find there isn't a molecule of truth to these comments, Jacinto suggests asking them to sit down for a coffee outside of the office, where you can let them know you overheard their conversation. "Never lose your temper," she says. "Hear their side and do your best to mediate the situation. It's most likely they'll be caught off guard—especially if you don't lose your cool. Stay positive and let them know you have nothing against them and want to continue working together in a constructive manner."
5. You're put on the spot in a meeting—when you had no clue you were supposed to present anything.
Maybe you snoozed through your boss's request that you give a status report on your latest project at the next company-wide meeting—or perhaps you missed your name announced as the presenter in an emailed agenda. Either way, when your boss passes you the reins in front of everyone, you're anything but prepared to take
over.
"If you want to avoid that deer in the headlights look, just be honest," says Salemi, who suggests responding by saying, "'I didn’t know this was going to be addressed during this meeting—otherwise I would have been better prepared. I’d like to get back to everyone once I have time to look into this further.'"
Of course, you have a second option: "You can totally wing it—as long as you have knowledge off the top of your head that you simply need to gather your thoughts around," says Salemi. "It’s not unlike during a job interview when you’re put on the spot with questions. Remain calm, pause and then state something intelligent at a high level. And remember that in many instances, less is more."
6. You're asked a question in a meeting—and have no clue what the question was because you were totally zoning out.
The latest Game of
Thrones was so enthralling that you had to relive every scene in your head—during a meeting. So when your boss aims a question at you, you can't answer, because you have no earthly idea what she just asked.
It's OK. Everyone zones out in a meeting. You can recover quickly by simply asking your boss to repeat the question, or ask for more clarity. "I’ve seen this work more effectively than someone trying to navigate themselves out of it with a sloppy answer," says Salemi. "And if you have to say you were zoning out, admit it."
Of course, if that's too embarrassing an outcome, you can always try to fudge an answer. But Salemi cautions you against taking this route, saying, "you don’t want to be the person who was obviously not paying attention because your answer is so incoherent—especially in a meeting where you want to make a good impression. Think of it this way: If this were a job interview, you wouldn’t want to bomb a question just because you weren’t paying attention. Breathe, regroup, ask, and dive right in."
7. You coworker accidentally shares a private email between you two with the whole office.
Who doesn't email her work BFF to mention the hot guy she met at the company-sponsored happy hour? But that kind of email is sent in confidence, and not one you want your whole office to ever see. So when your BFF accidentally adds a person (or 25) to
her reply, embarrassment is natural.
"Your first instinct will naturally be to run out of the office and never come back," says Jacinto. But before you do, "re-read the email and assess the damage." If you find it was especially inappropriate—say, you described exactly what you wanted to do to that office hottie—then head for your boss' office to explain. "Assume they have read the email and apologize," Jacinto says. "Let them know this doesn't reflect your character and will never use that type of language again."
You'll also want to stop over to your coworkers desk for a chat, says Gottsman. "Go to the person immediately and ask them if why they would share confidential information," she says. Then, remember for next time: "Nothing by email is private. So from now on, if you worry that someone else may see it, talk in-person instead."
8. Your boss catches you wasting precious work
minutes watching cat videos.
Oh, the allure of the cat video. Or the makeup tutorial. Or anything on the internet that lets you take a mindless break from your more boring work tasks. But while you may be fine giggling to yourself at Fluffy's latest shenanigans, you don't exactly want your boss to know that's how you spend your break time. And when she catches you red-pawed—excuse the phrase—you feel
about as shamed as those dogs wearing signs that read, "I eat cat poo."
This one stinks, Jacinto commiserates, "because we want our bosses to always see us in our best light, and assume we spend every second of our nine-to-five doing work for them." But thanks to Internet access, smartphones, and every app imaginable, it's easier than ever to get caught goofing off on the job.
So, says Salemi, when your boss sees it—and you know she saw it—you simply have to acknowledge it. "Say something like, 'Taking a quick five-minute mind break from that report. Needed to look at something else for a few,'" she suggests. "Your boss knows you’re human—so just don’t make a habit of it. Consider that one time a warning."
9. You forget someone's name when you need to speak to them in a meeting or on a conference call.
You need to ask someone a question. Except that "someone" is about as good as you can do when it comes to remembering her name. Is it Lila? Or
Lola? It definitely starts with an L—but you don't think she'd respond to her initial only. What to do?
Before you yell out, "Hey you," consider owning up to this uncomfortable situation, Jacinto says. You can saying something like, "Oh my gosh, I just went blank! Please forgive me—I’m going blank on your name!" And as awkward as that may feel, "it’s worse if you are speaking to someone and must introduce them to someone else and suddenly go silent," Jacinto says.
If you can, you may also want to try avoiding using your colleagues name at all, Salemi suggests. "One method is to utilize the word 'we,'" she says. "'We worked on this, so would you mind chiming in on what we discussed yesterday?' Not too obtrusive, right?"
10. You just broke up with your boyfriend—who also works in your office.
Sometimes
your dating pool doesn't extend beyond the office walls. All is well—until you break up, and everyone from the receptionist to your cube mate to your boss knows your very personal business.
Unfortunately, if you choose to date—and then dump—a coworker, everyone will find out. Accept it, then work on "never insulting your ex or giving into office gossip," says Jacinto. "If the situation comes up, take the high road. Speak positively about your ex and change the subject. The last thing you want to do is to add fuel to the fire and create an uncomfortable workspace."
Finally, remember: "Awkward moments happen to everyone," says Gottsman. "The way we handle them sets up apart from the rest. Don’t allow an uncomfortable moment to ruin your day. Most people will forget and move on if you do the right thing."
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