What Is Jealousy?Jealousy is a complex emotion. It occurs when there’s a real or perceived threat to an interpersonal relationship. An individual may resent a third person for taking away or appearing to take away the affections of their loved one. Show
Feelings that typically accompany the emotion include resentment, anger, hostility, and bitterness. Everyone experiences jealousy at some point in their lives, but the emotion can become unhealthy and negatively impact your relationships. It can range in intensity. When it’s severe, irrational jealousy can lead to distrust, paranoia, abuse, or even physical violence. CharacteristicsWhile it’s typically perceived as a negative emotion, it is natural to experience jealousy in a close relationship. You may feel suspicious jealousy or reactive jealousy. The former is based on perception and is often tied to low self-esteem and insecurity and the latter is based on situations that actually threaten the relationship, and is often tied to actions or situations that lead to or cause the betrayal of trust. Jealousy can lead to other emotions or feelings. Psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD, explains how jealousy can manifest in relationships:
ComplicationsIn healthy doses, jealousy can serve as a reminder to cherish or prioritize a relationship. High degrees of jealousy, however, can impact the overall quality of a relationship. When you’re experiencing jealousy, it can cause changes to your body. According to Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, the following physical symptoms may occur when jealousy arises:
Identifying JealousyJealousy can be difficult to understand and process. Depending on the situation, you may feel embarrassed, threatened, insecure, or abandoned. You may choose to say something to your loved one, notifying them of your feelings, concerns or fears, or you may react more irrationally by yelling, taking away their phone, making demands, placing blame, accusing them of something that didn’t happen, or storming off. Even if a real threat presents itself, jealousy can lead to extreme behaviors, especially if you’re feeling insecure about yourself or the relationship. For your own mental health, you’ll want to find healthy ways to handle your jealousy. CausesVarious psychological and socioeconomic factors can contribute to jealousy. Depending on your personality and attachment style, you may be more prone to experiencing the emotion. High levels of interdependence in a relationship may increase your risk of jealousy, for instance. Many situations can make you feel jealous. Some common ones include:
You could feel jealous when a loved one spends a lot of their time hanging with a particular friend or talking at length with a coworker in front of you, or you could feel jealous when a partner acknowledges someone else's accomplishments but not yours, or a coworker gets a promotion and you don’t. TypesWhile there are many forms of jealousy, there are two main categories: normal and abnormal jealousy. The six main types, described by Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, are:
TreatmentJealousy is a normal human emotion, but abnormal jealousy can put you or others in danger. If you’re experiencing morbid jealousy, in which your thoughts, emotions, behaviors are irrational, extreme, or obsessive, then you may need treatment. The most common treatment options include:
Treatment will vary depending on the type of jealousy you’re experiencing and how it’s manifesting. Unaddressed abnormal jealousy can lead to distrust, paranoia, or abuse. If you’re experiencing another underlying mental health condition, such as an anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or schizophrenia, then you’ll want to consult with a mental health professional to discuss tailored treatment options. CopingIf you don’t learn to cope with jealousy, it can strain or hurt your relationships. If your jealousy is negatively impacting your mental health or your relationships, you should use Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios’s recommended coping mechanisms:
To maintain healthy relationships, you’ll want to communicate your feelings, address expectations, and establish a foundation of mutual trust and understanding. If jealousy becomes a problem, then speaking with a mental health professional, such as a therapist can help. A Word From VerywellLearning to identify jealousy is a skill. When you do experience it, try using one of the many coping mechanisms available to you. Understand, though, that jealousy does not excuse manipulation or abuse. If coping mechanisms aren’t working or if the threat becomes disruptive to the relationship (no matter if it’s real or imagined), then you may want to seek counseling to discuss the problem with a mediator. You may find that there’s an underlying problem in the relationship which needs to be addressed. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
By Sarah
Sheppard Thanks for your feedback! Is the kind of love found in the affection between parents and their children?Storge: love of parents for children
This kind of love is what mothers know best but isn't talked about too much when we talk about love. It is the love of parents for children.
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Is a broad concept that refers to marriage between two people who are similar on one or more characteristics?Homogamy is the marriage or other relationship between people with similar characteristics, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity. Economists call assortative mating what sociologists call homogamy. People tend to choose their partners within their own social, cultural, ethnic, or religious backgrounds.
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